Orlok Extraction Company experiences delays at Pacific Northwest drilling site.

Orlok Extraction Co. workers are reporting numerous issues leading to delays in the development of the Pacific-Northwest drilling site, the latest being the disappearance of two workers in the middle of the night.

Employees Michael Sutton (27) and Lee Copeland (24) went missing in the middle of the night on Tuesday. Amongst their belongings at their campsite was a tape recorder, inside a 60-minute cassette tape with their last conversation recorded onto it. Though it sounds like there was a struggle, investigators have ruled out homicide as the motive for their disappearance.

We reached out to the site foreman on the matter: "I'm sure that this is a simple case of two slackers not wanting to do their job. Needless to say, when they decide to come out of the shadows, they'll be properly reprimanded."